You Might Hesitate, but Keep Going

 You Might Hesitate, but Keep Going:

Notice your hesitation and adjust your timid behaviour

Do you experience an unreasonable reluctance to step up when, intellectually, you know it’s time to reach for the opportunity you’ve worked so hard to get? Your hesitant behaviour may not be an isolated response that holds you back only when it’s time for your big career move. If you look closely, you may see that it's part of a broader behaviour pattern—a pattern that you can elect to change. If you practice managing your hesitancy in small moments, you’ll learn to deal with it more effectively in the face of bigger challenges and opportunities. Here are little ways your uncertainty may show up, and strategies you can use to get past it:

→→ Self-deprecating speech. Some people undercut their otherwise professional presence, and their own feeling of confidence, by repeatedly using overly modest phrases such as “I’m probably wrong, but . . .” when a simple statement would be stronger. If that sounds like you, pause before saying, “I think perhaps it might be a good idea to try X.” Instead, practice saying, “Let’s do X.”

→→ Excessive risk aversion. When they first had access to law, engineering, and finance degrees, female students were sometimes mocked or intimidated. This exacerbated academic and job pressures, causing some women to grow less sure of themselves and, eventually, become overly fearful of career risks. Regardless of the underlying cause, and whether you’re male or female, do you think that your outsized concern about the potential for failure might somehow be holding you back at work? If you know that you’re more risk-averse than your average colleague, you can choose to manage the way you approach opportunities. Imagine how you would act if you didn’t feel so tentative. Now, look for occasions to practice acting more like that.

→→ Apologizing. Feeling unwelcome at work may have been why some women started saying “sorry” even when they weren’t at fault. It was tempting to blame themselves when things weren’t going well. For some, it’s still a challenge to face problems quickly and move the conversation on to solutions. Chapter 25has suggestions about when to get over your urge to say “sorry.”

→→ Dithering. That hesitant feeling can leave you frozen, caught between staying or going, like the proverbial donkey between two handfuls of straw. Often, the worst decision is the one you don't really make. If you feel like you can’t make up your mind, you might be better off tossing a coin than agonizing endlessly. Give yourself a time limit on decision-making. Choose one of the options even if your choice feels arbitrary. And move forward decisively, whatever you decide.

Notice your hesitation and move on anyway

Successful dieters know you don’t have to eat just because you’re hungry.

When you feel a little pang of hunger, instead of reaching for the cookie jar, you can elect to take a deep breath and just ignore that urge to munch. It can be the same when you have a sudden pang of inadequacy. You don’t have to react just because of a little momentary discomfort. If you simply notice your feeling of hesitation and act anyway, your uncertainty may soon pass. It helps to recognize that each of us—male or female—experiences fear at times. And it’s normal to pause when we’re facing an unfamiliar situation. But just because you experience a twinge of uncertainty doesn’t mean you have to remain immobile. Once you’ve assessed the obstacles, you have the option to act like a confident person and forge ahead.