Choose to Be an Optimist

Choose to Be an Optimist:

Optimism is a positive attitude that carries with it an expectation that things will probably work out for the best. A growing body of research from multiple disciplines suggests that optimism can set you up for career success, improve your social life, help you overcome stress and many kinds of difficulties, and support your efforts to stay healthy.

Pessimism, on the other hand, can undercut your level of achievement, weaken your immune system, and make it more likely that you’ll become depressed. In the workplace, pessimism is valuable in performing tasks that require an awareness of risks, such as drafting legal documents. Even for lawyers, however, a pessimistic style can be a burden when it’s time to woo clients or manage projects. Generally, it’s the optimists who enjoy more fruits of success.

In my own life, and working with clients, I’ve seen good results using these techniques pioneered by Dr Seligman:

→→ Catch that thought. Learn to identify self-defeating thoughts that automatically run through your mind, particularly when you're feeling down or discouraged. Simply noticing your frequent negative attitudes—such as, “I’m so bored” or “This will never work out”—will help to tame them.

→→ Argue back. you can talk back to the voice in your head. Once you observe a negative refrain, dispute it, just as you would in conversation with a dear friend who was putting herself down. If you notice a voice saying, “I’ ma loser,” respond with something like, “You have what it takes to start winning.”

→→ Test the accuracy. One simple way to dispose of pessimistic thoughts is to demonstrate that it’s just not true. Look to external evidence, and then dismiss exaggerated statements such as “I always fail at things like this.”

→→ Find other explanations. Most situations have many causes, but pessimists tend to cling to the worst possible options. They may leap to the most permanent and pervasive explanation imaginable, such as, “I’m just too old to do this.” Disputenegativity by proposing alternative explanations, like: “Maybe I didn't prepare enough this time, but I can do better next time.”

Here are more suggestions for developing a more optimistic approach to life:

→→ Make lists. Carry around a small notebook in which to list each negative phrase that plays repeatedly inside your head. Periodically review the list and create a new list by reframing each pessimistic thought into a positive statement. For example, “I’m too fat,” may become “Today I will eat consciously” on the new list. Read the positive list at least daily.

→→ Appreciate the good stuff. You can generate a surge of optimism by refocusing your attention on the more positive aspects of any situation. For example, if you’re frustrated with the stresses of your job, look at the total picture and list five things you appreciate about your professional life. Review the list frequently.

→→ Make goodwill deposits. Each time you say something kind or positive to another person, or go out of your way to do a good deed, there will be at least two impacts. First, it will be as though you’ve made a deposit in an account where that person can store up positive feelings about you. And you’ll know that the goodwill might come in handy in the future. Second, your positive gesture toward another person will probably provide a lift in your own attitude.

→→ Resist naysayers. Sometimes that negative dialogue isn’t all in your head. Pessimistic people can drain your energy and pull whole groups off track. Avoid negative people when you can and try not to let them bring you down when their company is unavoidable. When you must deal with angry or disrespectful clients or coworkers, try to summon up a feeling of compassion for their angst. Then observe your negative emotions stimulated by their attitude or behaviour, and imagine that you are opening your heart and letting those feelings float away.

→→ Talk to people. Pessimists may isolate themselves when facing difficulties, which can make things worse. When things aren't going well, resist your urge to curl up in a hole. Instead, seek ways to enjoy even small positive connections with other people. If things are troublesome in one sector, like work, find new energy and renewed optimism by structuring happier interactions in other parts of your life.

→→ Plan for the worst. If you have a strong pessimistic streak, you naturally start thinking about all the things that could go wrong. If you’re worrying about developments that are out of your control, remind yourself that there’s no point in torturing yourself when there’s nothing you can do. But when you’ rethinking about things that are within your span of control, your best bet may be to create a contingency plan. When you have a worst-case plan in place, it’s easier to shift your focus away from your worries.

→→ Smile. If you put on a happy face and act like an optimist, you’re likely to actually experience an emotional lift. And the upswing in your mood may continue to build when other people return your smile.

→→ Spend time in nature. There’s growing evidence that spending time outdoors can help you to overcome moderate depression, particularly if you walk or engage in other active pastimes. I've had many clients who’ve found a daily walk to help keep up their positive outlook.

→→ Get help. If your anxiety feels out of control or you always wake up grouchy, it may be time to seek professional help. Many kinds of therapy can help you to tackle your depression and rediscover your optimism. For example, cognitive behavioural therapy—including emerging online versions—may help you to manage your moods by replacing pessimistic thoughts.